Juz another Lost gal

2006-08-10T19:36:00.000+08:00

yup its today a holiday.
sometimes i felt as if i can't do much or say much. yup! the theory is right. history do repeats itself. and when it does, u get back wad u once allow others to feel. only much more worser cause if you done it first you will be blamed but if the person done it second you can't blame anyone or make someone see the point as you have let the other party suffered same thing before. in life there are so many thigns in life that can't be controled and unfair. yet beautiful things cover them up as always. yes the theory that no one is perfect now shatters my dream. you can gain 1 but not two things at the same time. tough decisions of this or that is now implied in my lfie everynow and then so often i often lose myself to the reality. im not me anymore. i dun feel, think or act the same anymore. what has time done to me? is the path i choose right or wrong? y did my intuition keep telling me to turn back? so many worries and doubts. where has e carefree me gone to? i don't understand alot of things in life anymore.

i used to thought that everything can be explained easily and i shouldn't worry about anything in life at all. but lately m life seems to be in a mess. i don't know what i want to do or wish to be anymore. i have lost myself again n again aimlessly.

and just now in mu i c history repeat itself.everyday i play this mu i c history repeats. just that roles r switched n times have changed. i really hates to be like that. i can laugh n smile but how long has it been when i do all from deep within e heart or a true happiness? so long i really forgot how its like. temporary happiness r they woth it i don't know...i've been saying vulgarities like i used to again. i cnt contain my anger. i just got back a habit i kicked with lots of effort lolz...how about that?

suky day. hell how i wish the world could reet just like those stupid mu servers and let me start it all voer again!

2006-07-23T19:55:00.000+08:00

What is a Christian Marriage?

Live happily with the woman you love through the fleeting days of life, for the wife GOD gives you is your best reward down here for all your earthly toil.

Is Marriage a contract with an escape clause?

- There are no IF CLAUSES in a marriage.
Marriage is an UNCONDITIONAL COMMITMENT which two people enter into.
- There are no ESCAPE CLAUSES in a marriage.
- Marriage is a COVENANT.
- A covenant has a WITNESS.

God is the witness.
God is the centre of Christians.

SO then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man seperate.

- A covenant has a PROMISE of TOTAL COMMITMENT.

I take you, to be my wedded husband/wife - to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish and to obey, as long as we both live, according to God's holy ordinance; and thereto I give you my love.

The Bible's view of marriage is the TOTAL commitment of the TOTAL person for the TOTAL LIFE.

- A covenant is permanant and cannot be broken.

If we are faithless, He remains faithful; He cannot deny Himself.

A covennant is a formal agreement, promise or bond that cannot be broken. Marriage is to be for life. When the two become one flesh, there is to be no division, no severing because of the irreparable damage that seperation will cause.

"Well, if the marriage doesn't work out, I can always get a divorce!" Getting a divorce is like shooting a pair of Siamese twins. No matter what happens, both partners become casualties!

- A covenant is maintained by LOVE.

-A covenant is "signed" by the shedding of BLOOD.

Sex outside of marriage is just a physical thing but sex within marriage produces a very intimate relationship and knowledge of one another.It is through sex through the marriage covenant that real intimate knowledge of your partner is obtained.

So sex was not made for lusting and getting. Sex was made for loving and giving. If there is no inward working of the heart to love sacrificially and to give 100% commitment, two people have obsolutely no right to have sex. That is why sex is reserved only for marriage!

- A covenant is followed by and EXCHANGE of NAME.

- A covenant is founded upon FAITH or TRUST.

The Eight Purpose of Marriage

- Marriage is for COMPANIONSHIP.

- Marriage is for CHARACTER REFINING.

Marriage brings together two very different people, with very different hangups, and lots of character flaws. And as they learn to communicate, to fellowship, to repent of their own shortcomings, to forgive each other of faults, to serve one another, and to go through sufferings together, they become more and more Christlike in character.

Marriage is a refining process - it is an opportunity to be refined by God into the person He wants us to be.

- Marriage is for COMPLETENESS.

- Marriage is for a NEW UNION.

- Marriage is for COMMITMENT.
Marriage is to be MONOGAMOUS.
Marriage demands FIDELITY(faithfulness).

- Marriage is for PLEASURE.

Be happy, yes, rejoice in your wife. Let her tender embrace satisfy you. Let her love alone fill you with delight.

- Marriage is for PROCREATION.

The God blessed them, and God said to them. " Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth ..."

Children are a gift from God; they are his reward. Children born to a young man are like sharp arrows to defend. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them ...

- Marriage is for INTIMACY.
The SPIRITUAL.
The EMOTIONAL.
The INTELLECTUAL.
The PHYSICAL.
The FINANCIAL.

Intimacy is shared identity, a "we" relationship. Its opposite is a marriage in which the individuals are called "MARRIED SINGLES" - where each partner goes his or her own way.

A physical marriage involves the "marriage of emotions" as well as bodies.

2006-07-18T21:14:00.000+08:00

wahaha...mood of the day:
Happiness 90%
Sadness 10%
Excitement 80%

Average GREAT DAY!!!

Today jie believe that im fat !! wahaha aBi jie u rawks!! let's meet asap after "o" lvl exam :P
now i won't have the living in a lying photo world when talking to her !! Jie is the 4th person on earth who believes that im fat!

Nothing much today. I went KFC to eat and revise for tomorrow's exam. Thanks cathi. If not i guess i'll fail tml's exam.

I aiming for either SP or Ngee Ann Poly...please tell me which one is better for business course!

Thoughts of the day:
no one understands wad is call looks r deceiving.
blame my face for not matching my body? ugh...LOL

Special entry:
hon i love ya forever ^^ oh i ain't teling you the silent test. i'm evil :P
if u pass the test, trust me i'll be head over heels in love with you lol...well, that's me.
hmmm...tt's all :P

Magic word: u got it at 1st try. lol...

2006-07-17T06:31:00.000+08:00

Let's start with last friday 14/7.
I was totally clueless that i have a common test on that day. With the help of Ms Kang and XL i manage to wriggle my way through. i was suppose to have my enlish prelim oral, my english common test and my SS common test. I didnt know i have these exams and i thought i have "o" lvl chinese listening exam when i don't have. I went for chinese calligraphy on that day yay !! Went to mcdonalds with hui ming after that and we went crazy hahax...we saw her mum and sis at mcdonald too. hmm...anyway friday is a lucky day. English prelim english oral postphoned to next monday which is today :P 17/7.

Next is 15/7 which is last saturday. I was chatting with huiming online and she sent me this song called "graduation(friends forever)". she said as she listen she'll cry. i'm close but didn't cry yet ^^ i won't cry so easily...at least i'll control. next it was raining and i was tired. but i still went for service anyway. everytime i said i don't want to go but when i reached there i will be glad that i did went. on that day itself it was a healing service. the pastor help us pray for tongues. he said "try to imitate my words. you might not be same as me or your friend beside you. but try to speak out." so i tried. i don't know what i'm saying at first. and seriously at the moment when i speak tongues i got touched by god. there was a undescribable feeling and the next minute i find myself on the verge of tears. i was damn silly that i held back my tears. now i regret...anyway i did sense GOD and GOD loves me ^^

Then is last sunday,which is yesterday 16/7.
I went for my E-math tuition as per normal. originally plan to go see aBi jie's competition but in the end mum object. (sorry jie) so i was like thinking ' fine, i'll secretly go see and go back' but when i went home (my dad's home) to eat, the food was delicious ^^ my grandma took 5 hours to boil soup for me (DELICIOUS) and cook my longbean + egg + prawns side dish ^^ After that I went to play golf with my daddy. He bought me a new pair of Sport shoes costing $129.90 !! WAH!! And he also bought me a pair of golf gloves that totally rawks!! both are purple!! ^^ I really enjoyed my day with my daddy. i call him "papa" of course. now we got something in common to keep in contact instead of just going home to visit. lalala~

Then is today~Monday~ 17/7
hon not online in the morning :( hon i missed you lots!!
i'll post again if im free. ta-da~

2006-07-10T22:17:00.000+08:00

I did this brain test haha and got the result "Your right and left brain hemispheres are equally dominant!"
Wahaha~ I so happy.

Today morning i try to drench myself in the rain totally.Was wet all over.Rain was very heavy.Was very cold.Now i finally know how aBi jie felt on that day.
I skipped english mock exam to go to chinese calligraphy.I'm naughty girl.lala.Because of that I know that my chinese calligraphy teacher was SO GREAT! hahax...He is gona help me get rich :P

That's all i guess.Having a fever now.sigh*
---------------------------
Some tests to spend time.
--------------
This test is for guys !!

Are you a Suave guy?
http://web.tickle.com/tests/standard/suave-o-meter.jsp?test=suave-o-meter

Is she marriage material?
http://web.tickle.com/tests/standard/marriage_mat_men.jsp?test=marriage_mat_men

This test is for all !!

The Love or Money Test
http://web.tickle.com/tests/loveormoney/?test=loveormoneyogt

My result for this test: (WAH am i so great? The test is a bogus! Why will I argue about donations instead of where to travel to -.- )
Kirene, when it comes to love or money, you're a Hopeless Romantic .
For richer? For poorer? It doesn't matter to you because you're the Hopeless Romantic. Whether your sweetie is an oil baron or a grease monkey, it's all about until death do us part.Even if you haven't met "the one," you'll judge your soul mate by the love letters, roses, and foot massages — not the size of their bankroll. And even if their wallet is as fat as their sonnet collection, the toughest part of your relationship will be arguing over which charity to choose, who loves whom more, and who's the bigger Schmoopie. And if that diamond ring turns brass, no biggie — your love is totally not-for-profit.

This test is for Girls

Who's the Man of Your Dreams?
http://web.tickle.com/tests/dreamman/?c=42666&test=dreammanogt

Who's Your Type?

http://web.tickle.com/tests/standard/your_type.jsp?c=42660&test=your_type

My test result: (What it means? I'm a man?!?!? )

Kirene, you're a Man!
Your type is the Renaissance Man
Want a guy who's into just about everything? Well, you've found him in yourRenaissance Man! This guy is extremely passionate about everything you canthink of. His interests run the gamut, from baseball stats to Dutch art, andhe delves into all of his interests enthusiastically. Your guy will doanything and go anywhere and most likely have a smile on his face the wholetime. You'll constantly be mesmerized by how much information he soaks upand retains. Whether it's because he's extremely well-cultured or due to hisromantic nature, you can't help but fall for this guy. Although he's got aplethora of redeeming qualities, this great catch can be somewhatscatterbrained. He can sometimes lose sight of reality and wind up livinghappily in the clouds. But when it comes down to it, that's exactly where this guy will put you — on cloud nine.

Read this for extra information of me:

http://web.tickle.com/tests/standard/your_type_extra.jsp?test=your_type

2006-07-09T16:53:00.000+08:00

So much misunderstandings.thank god everything is solved.This serve as a lesson that we should always look both side in quarels.Thanks Xin Hui for blessing me in the early morning too.

2006-07-08T22:01:00.000+08:00

Mood of the day:
Angry:100%
Sad:70%
Happiness:20%

Yesterday whole day I was talking to hon and guess what? I'm seriously angry OK? 80% of what i said/ask he didn't reply.80%! I'm not joking! And he said he did.OK so i tell myself maybe he just somehow missed out the things i asked/said to him. For the rest of the day he keep missing out things im saying to him. For example: I asked him "Where are you?" I wait for few seconds..no reply.I was thinking maybe he is busy so I wait for few more seconds. Then it became around 1-2 mins when he msg me "Where are you?". well, thi is not the only example. I'm lazy to state. The next day which is today morning,the same thing happened again but not as serious as the day before.It just seems to me that he isn't paying attention to things i said/do sometimes(close to most of the time) which really pissed me off!
Today morning the owner of the house cook me a plate of fried rice.It was delicious.My mum bought me some breads in the morning for breakfast too, but I did not eat them because of the fried rice.
During the afternoon, I went for cell group. We played a game and my team won.OK so no big deal.Then my mum called me.The first thing i hear in the phone was shouting."WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO BACK TO YOUR DAD AND LIVE WITH HIM?!" Guess what ? She scold me for not eating her bread.She didn't even listen to my explanation or ask me why before she started scolding me.I'm mad !
Today I got s strong urge to skip service because I felt so lazy and tired.I wanted to go online to play and chat and watch TV with my mum.Well, I went anyway.Michelle drag me go so I go. I'm glad I went.
After service is around 8+PM.My mum and I quarreled.She kick me and hit me so hard ! Hell! OK so is my fault for shouting at her.I'm so angry that my HP bat left only a few mins of battery and she die die don't answer the phone.I called from orchard all the way to yishun!
Next, I was so happy to tell my jie that next service on next week's Saturday and Sunday got healing session.She doesn't want to go.She says let other people who are more needy to go.GOD is UNLIMITED! Why don' want to go?!
(for jie) :
"MAYBE" you afraid that healing can't really work?IF that is the case, try it or you will never know.IF it is not the case, GOD is UNLIMITED. He can heal as many people as long as people of faith went to him and ask for healing.
All in all my day just sux!
------------------------------------------------------
Today's service talks about:
-You have to observe things
-GOD does not lie;It is impossible for GOD to lie;GOD cannot lie
-You do not have enough time
-It is the height of Deception and Arrogance to believe that we determine the outcomes of our lives;while in truth they are determined by those to whom we grant access
-----------
Compromise:
Always trying to drag you to the past
Companions:
Those that are willing to accept you in the state where they first met you
Commitments:
Those who are undeniably tied to helping you enter the future.
-----------
Good is a choice.
Evil is an influence.
Good doesn't influence.
-----------
-Relationships are magnetic:
Pulling you closer to or driving you further away from your devine destiny.
-----------
-Confusing is the result of refusing to make a decision
-It is imposible for the devil to plan your destructions but he carefully plan out your distractions.
-It is impossible to exceed the standard set by your closest associations.
-People will not necessarily be blessed by your goodness but you'll definately be cursed by their evilness.
-Loyalty was never birth to cover a man's weakness, it was birth to uphold a man's integrity.
-----------
My friends:
-Must be committed to a long-lasting relationship
-Must have empires in their brains
-Must qualify to receive my seeds(so that won't soil into bad soil)
-Must pride integrity above relationship
-Must be willing to confront my enemies
-Must be sowers(your lfie is determined by your seed/ your own giving
-----------
-Sorry is not what a man said when he fails you. Sorry is what a man said when he failed to hide his sins.
-Life is filled with harvest is a proof that I have invested in the rght soil.
-------------------------------------
This is written so that maybe anyone who reads it may gain a heart of wisdom.

2006-07-08T08:10:00.000+08:00

This is my test result.True.

Greed:	Low
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Very Low
Sloth:	High
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	Very Low
Pride:	Medium

This is hon's test result.LOL.

Greed:	Low
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Low
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Very Low
Lust:	Low
Pride:	Medium

2006-07-07T21:58:00.000+08:00

This is my gift for you hon :P
Don't laugh >.<

Title:Gift You
Thoughts of you have filled my mind
My heart my soul and my life
Love and care you shown to me
Makes me smile all night
Things you said and done for me
Are engraved in my heart
Little things are what counts most
That's what you always says
A little poem I write for you
A little gift from me

2006-07-07T06:52:00.000+08:00

Today is the day when I say GOOD BYE to this poem of mine.
I got things sorted out and realise its time for a new Poem :P

Basically this poem just shows how much i like 1 guy n for years i have been living under this "crush torture".lol...But at the 4th year i realised tt well,i dun tink i really liked him before..hMz... and so...
-----
This is the poem:
-----
Title:What's love about?
-----
In day and night surrounding me
I tried to run but he won't leave me
From shadow to shadow he stalk along
From corner to corner he won't let go
-----
Out of the blue he jumps in front
And came the sound of a beatin drum
Avoiding his eyes i tried to hide
The redden face and beating drum
-----
Walkin away i start to pray
Hoping my heart will finally change
Hopeless as it is in both ways
I know in his life I'm far away
-----
The thoughts of him crept into my head
torturing me with a pain
If there's a way to forget him
Tell me the price I'm willin to pay
-----
By:Kirene.CHY

2006-07-03T19:14:00.000+08:00

Jie u rawks my life !

2006-06-29T15:10:00.000+08:00

My mood of the day after morning:
Angry:90%
Reason:I can't be Admin and I'm fired as GM.I spend so much time and effort in GrudgeMU and I get nothing in return.When I'm a GM I have to deal with the community alone.Now the 3 GM have each other to help out and deal with the community.It's unfair.Nevermind.I ca quit MU and leave this unfair world of MU.Another reaosn is i have been reposting my blog entry for 5 hours++!!
Sad:90%
Reason:I'm fired as GM even though I done so much in the MU community last time.I've been inactive for only 3-4 days due to school,maple and abit of relaxing time and I'm fired.I did log in to help players in the morning and at night sometimes.I even hold a PK event recently!NVM.
Happy:30%
Reason:Today got no school.Only "Celebrate Life Seminar 2006".Haha...I escaped another D&T lesson again !!
Self-Confidence:40%+20% = 60 %
Reason:aBi jie today SMS me "jiayou " for "O" lvl oral exam ^^ jie u oso must jia you kaes!! today's seminar talk about woman's worth o-O hehe...that's where the xtra 20% come from.

Positive:
Since I have no more burden as GM in MU anymore, I can focus on my study and MapleStory now.
I must learn to have more patience and learn to save the blog entries little by little before making changes and posting the post.
I have more time to prepare for my D&T now.
"O" level chinese Oral is on 6th of July!!Not today!! woohoo~

Negative:
I'm just damn sad that I'm fired just like that.This shows how unappreciative people are no matter what u did to help them.ArRHH!!
I'm still saf that I lost Admin election and now Fired...T_T

Thoughts of the day:
I thinking of hon's teacup chiwawa
I wonder if jie read my blog for today's entry
Should I let hon hv my blog link?
Should I delete WISHMAKER from my MSN?I don't know how to face him.
I want to change a new blogskin.
I want rush home to play maple with hon.
Should I tell WISHMAKER about the bugs that are reported to me?

LOL i don't like him or find him attractive anymore.My friend just confirmed me that it is just a 3-4 years of habit hahax...I feel so relieved now for some reasons.

Today morning i went to MU only to discovered that I'm fired.When i went to school I'm totally moodless.Lucky we have this seminar call "Celebrate Life Seminar 2006".Although its not very fun but I'm very happy and proud of the clay item that i made.Haha...its a Big "L" as the stand and a "book" "pile of coins" and "heart" stick on top of the "L".
The "L" stands for live,love,learn,legacy,life.Theme of the clay making is "my future".
So the books stands for "knowledgable" life, heart stands for "finding a partner who will go through hardships and enjoy with me,and "pile of coins" stands for making big money!!
Saw Feraldine with her friends on my way home at Yishun MRT station today.Lol...i never talk /smile to her at all.Only wave.Because my head empty,never think much.I only realise that after I reached home =/

2006-06-29T06:33:00.000+08:00

Early in the morning and I'm already angry ! Guess what?I'm fired lol.My GM Char got deleted.
I just hold PK events the day before and help a few players yesterday to answer a few questions and today I'm fired. It's ok i can take it. I'm going to quit MU FOREVER. Maybe i might miss some members of Friends Guild. Jie sorry i drag u in to play with me yet I so inactive and quit now.

Mood of the day:
Happiness:10%
Sad:70%
Angry:90%
Surprised:60%

Thoughts of the day:
MU really wasted my life and time and effort.Why did I even bothered in the first place?I'm really stupid.I should have known better than to even become a GM.I helped out so much and was fired due to 3-4 days of inactiveness.LOL.like XiangLing said,its a waste of my time and totally not worth it.Fine! I learned my lesson well and TATA to MU!

2006-06-28T16:41:00.000+08:00

Mood of the day:

Happiness:50%

Reason I might become Admin

Sad:80%

ReasonOur of 4 GM my vote is the least.

Jealous:90%

Reason:The 3 GM started off later than me yet are more popular.

Excited:60%

Reason:I feel like doing so many things currently at 1 time.Hon said he will help me promote my GM char and make my vote top vote.

Disappointed:90%

Reason:It seems to me that everything in my life is occuring at the right timing.I can't seem to grasp the right moment.

Confused:60%

Reason:I really doubt if my R/S with hon will work.But I really hope it will.I don't know if i love him but I know i like him alot.

Emptiness:30%

Reason:I miss my Global MU friends.I lost contact with most of them already.W/O MU we seems to have nothing in common to talk about anymore.If that is the case,are we still considered as friends?I want to love yet I'm afraid that I'll be hurt.I spend so much time of my life in Games and contributed my life o Grudge MU but what exactly did I gain?

Lost:90%

Reason:

I don't know if I like him or its just a wrong feeling.I'll notice him.I keep noticing him.Is it because he is just attractive looking to me,or do i really like him,or it just became a habit of mine after 3-4 years?Do i like or love hon?What about him?Should I waste my time in MU and work for GM status?

Tired:70%

Reason:I feel stressed and tired.I been doing lots of thinking but I got no answers.I been losing sleeps and waking up early.I keep falling asleep in class.

Positive:

Considering that it's my first try being a GM in MU and my amount of inactiveness,I'm happy enough that peple still vote for me.

Its the first time i experienced such feelings and oso my first time meeting such a nice guy.I should have faith in him and trus him more since I feel like doing so.

If I become Admin I'll be more active and help the players more.If i remained as GM I'll just play MapleStory and study more.and might just quit MU."o" level exam !!

Since I have lost contacts with Global MU friends,might as well make new friends and lead a new life.And hopes it gets better.

If anything bad happen,I'll treat it as a lesson learned.

Negative:

I can't face the facts that I'm less "likable" by the MU players.

I don't know if meeting hon is the right thing to do.I'm afraid that I'm too fat/ugly to meet him.What if he doesn't like me when we meet?I don't believe guys dun mind looks.I have think too far til the extent that I might live my life with him before.M I in love?How does love feels like?

What if everything isn't what I expect it to be?

I'm afraid of rejectment and have extreme low self-esteem..I have a petty heart too.I don't want to lose things and want things to improve.

I hope I can save enought money to uy a teacup chiwawa and a dino in maple as well !!

Thoughts of the day:

I miss hon n the things he assured me of.

I want to see his teacup chiwawa!!

Hui Ming never wait for me today and left with LiLin after recess

Haiz...I want to learn guitar!!

I want to go back to my old houe an visit grandma.

I'm proud of myself that I can write down so many things and understand myself better today.

I sad and angry HuiMing's sis scold me.

I happy i understood today's PAC lesson. :D

Hehe!I'm jie's fav Gan Mei!! In her blog I'm 1st link!! lalala ~ >.^ v

Memorable people:

Hehe Pig turn so hardworking suddenly.I remember taking pics around with him in MU :P I'm crazy MU photo collector wahaha...Last time keep training with him..only we 2 in party in global lol...Many people thought we MU-lover hahax...miss the old times.Now he so hardworking studying..i mustn't lose him ! :x Pig quit maple oso haiz...nvm now got hon play with me =] stupid pig keep call me dear -.- diaox...anw the 3 song he send today is indeed nice !!

aBi Jie oso brighten up quite alot le...i go c her blog the words sooo positive.Wonder wad thing cheer her up so greatly ^^ Hope is not blog put happy den inside still got unhappy memories...Nice change!!oh ya she says i never upload her link..hehe

Hon is so sweet..sometimes i really hope I'm at least better looking or thinner abit lol...If I'm i will personally fly to USA find him :x Today he up my fame ingame hahax...N he always support me in lots of things.I can see that he is trying to make me happier but seriously the Admin election blow is way too big.I didn't know i love the power so much too lol.I always says "If u dun wan to lose something,don't gain it" i apply this same theory in love life too. anyway now that i gain a chance of becoming an Admin and i lose it,I'm really very sad.i miss ya lots hon :P
Qrion korkor these few days i nvr tok to him.Sad...maybe he busy at camp.I dun dare MSN him lolx...scared later he busy i disturb him
Hero papa sms me 1 msg on father day n i greeted him happy father day lol !!!he still rmb me !! bleeaahs!! i really miss my most memorable guild in global MU "H3Roc" it is the best days of my mu life.best days of my gaming life.
Hui Ming just return me my $14 only now she borrowed $4 from me again. I'm already broke enough.And when is she gona pay me back this time...

Hui Min my cousin need my help to print her 5 art picture.OMG i c her sms n call me in such anxious tone!!She rush from khatib to yishun to pass me a thumbdrive for me to help her print picture...hope i did help hahax...
Moolu,well,i let him down.my 2nd MU BF.I really learned my mistake now.But i don't know how to talk to him.I didn't even see him online in MSN now.

im lazy

2006-06-09T11:38:00.000+08:00

im lazy to update my blog so..lolx dunoe wad to write
i went bowling with Cathi Pearlyn n Xiang ling ytd...was fun.
Hit 3 strike or is it 2 =x
anyway i missed almost everything...watching My girl and I now...
nice show..i tink tt gal is just pretty ^^ e guy...whoever says tt he is handsome will get a pouch frm me right in e face lolx...

well,den erm... ytd we went to ...omg i dun even noe where i went...
anw we ate ice-cream.$1.50 per scoop only...cheap n nice!!
i ate raspberry Xiangling n pearlyn ate chocolate Cathi ate strawberry.All in All nice :P

den we walk past this chocolate shop...WOW ... i dun even noe wad i c until Xiangling told me.its a chocolate fountain o.o
call me frog in e well.i really dunoe there is such a thing.today we're going to eat chocolate founddew weee~ i dunoe how its spelled.anyway....let me continue kaes?

i heared frm xiang ling its a chocolate fountain and u can take any fruitsuw an to dip into it n eat as much as u wan! isnt tt great!?!??! LOL im watering alrd...erm maybe not...juz trying to sound really enthu...i asked huiming to go as well...hMz...today not feeling well so i pon physic n DnT remedial.cnt say pon...like i said I'm SICK! lolx...
im sick doesn't sound right...er...im ill :P

ill people got energy go eat chocolate? lolx... hehe anything for chocolate founddew!!!
$6 per person so cheap right? hahahax....im sure ur jealous now... i go back watch tv :P
i'll update u bloggy,in like a gd mood time :P bye bloggy ^^

bad worse worser worst!

2006-02-20T19:47:00.000+08:00

1st i dunoe wads wrong wif me!
2nd i juz get so angry for no apparent reasons!
3rd im in a terrible bad mood!

so i thought mayb i shud let e unhappy things go...but i cant!!
i dunoe y i cared so much abt smth...i muz b mad alrd...
god plz help me...
i feeling alone n i cnt really smile frm my heart anymore...
my life is a mess n i wan run away frm everything...
i cnt face my own feelings anymore...
nth i wan will happen anymore...no more fairytale le...

no matter how hard i try...life is definitely not gona b e same again...
cruelty of reality....hate u!!!
life sux life sux life sux!!!!!!!!

i dun tink if im ever gona show ppl my blog le...

my private listener i noe only u really cared rite?

i dunoe how n wad to tink of me alrd...mad?psycho?

i needed sm1...but who?i dunoe...

no i dun believe in true friends...pathetic?ya im pathetic...

cry?no i wun cry like this...crying means i accept fate...

m i strong?wad u tink?no im not...

as im typing i guess im breaking down pieces by pieces...

hard to understand rite?hardly anyone ever truely understands me...

i gv up on findin a true friend...alrd...

boyfriend?no im not desperate lolz...laughing out fakely....

crush? i given up hope long ago...tel u e truth i noe ther's no hope in it since e beginning...

e 1st guy i like i noe ther's no result...still i hang on till e 4th yr when i finally die heart...

2nd guy i like..wel...i ended up regretting a silly mistake i made...

3rd guy...i got mix feelings...is tt considered a like or a dislike?

no more mood to continue further...

nightmares

2006-02-19T19:04:00.000+08:00

isit it weird n surprising things usually turns out?
1 min u r tellin others how they shud go through their life n helping them wif their own problems,the next u r havin such a major problem urself...

it all happen ytd when i was tokin to a few friends...as usual on MSN.
i was tokin wif 1 of my jie abt her prob in sch n how to understand someone better,den i was tokin to this schmate of mine abt e way we shud vent our anger n not keep it within our hearts to feel better.den i was tokin to my junior abt e ways n methods to make her family trust her again,she lost e trust of her whole family becoz of her Xstead...

e thing is after i tok to e 3 of them,i thought e world will be a better place lolz...
stupid thoughts right?i noe u tink tt im stupid to tink of that...
i went to brush my teeth n when i came out, i c my mum open my grandma's door wif so much force that u might tink that inside e room is her arch enemy...or someone who killed her whole family...next is my grandmother n my mum having e worst fight i ever see...
its smth beyond mine control n i can only watch it helplessly...i feel that my world has juz crash down upon me...
when i c them both shouting n fighting so fiercly it felt as if e 2 most important organ inside ur body is killing each other n that u will die any sooner if they keep it up...
my mum started scolding vulgarities at my grandmother n threw a huge chair towards her room's door...tt's when my grandmother started to provoke my mum to hit her n she went to call e police...if u noe e feeling of someone drowning in e sea n desperately grapping for anythin to stay alive,my mum grabbed my grandmother's phone n threw it so hard e phone shattered...wad do u tink i do?i screamed...
n i can tel u something...when my grandmother n my mum lurged at each other,i wan to jump down from e window...dramatic eh? y dun u be me n i be u n i will tel u "yah! so dramatic!"
a few of my relatives came to my house to stop e dispute...
one of my uncle cnt stand my mum for scolding his mum[my grandmother] vulgarities n almost threw my piano seat at my mum...can u imagine e amt of fear,frustration,anxiety,anger, n hatred i hv?
1 thought flashed in my mind that if he dares to throw e seat at my mum,i gona punch him in e face n rush to e kitchen to acquire a chopper...god noes wad im tinking n planning to next...
gd thing my aunties stop him...of coz...
in betwwen e process i shouted again...scolding them for being so childish to tink that violence can solve everything...

ok so im not gona continue...
i felt so...scary that i even tink of murdering someone like my uncle...
if u tink that it's normal,tink again...which normal gal in this world will wan to murder someone wif such strong will that u can even survive e desert w/o water...
bloody hell...freaking family...

it make me tinking that i nvr ever wan this family...
i dun mind being poor like ye tian yu in e show "wang zi bian qing wa"
but as long as i hv a happy family like hers...n someone who loves me like dang-ou love tian yu...
i really wish that i nvr ever has a family to begin wif so i wun suffer e pain when i loses them 1 by 1...i dun wana face all these problems...n i dun wana cry...
i wan to change my life...i wan to be successful n become rich.
i wan to be independent on myself n live by myself...

valentine day

2006-02-15T19:31:00.000+08:00

i noe i noe...
V'day is over long ago ytd...
juz abit regret i still hvn pluck up any courage to gv e "him" a V'day present...
haiz...im such a failure...
e worst thing is im stuck wif common test!!
nt that i study anw =x

wel,i gt 2 V'day present frm gals though lolz...
CN gv me 1 rose...everygal in class hv 1 i guess...
in anycase thx le...
HK & C gv me 1 litle wrapped up present too...
kute n thx le okies?
im touched la =x

okies...im v bad for not buyin any present for anyone...
well...this is me =x
actually i nvr thought of buyin la...i only keep hearin friends buyin for 1 another...
i 4get to tink that i cn oso buy for em as well ..hahax... =x

maybe if when we graduate i gv farewell present ^___^
nt that i wana say byebye la...juz sayin that i'll gv present de la...

T___T there goes my V'day...muaaawuaa.......

e fairytale of my life

2006-02-14T20:07:00.000+08:00

"e fairytale of my life"
By:K

Chapter 1

"I used to believe that looks and status are so important in life...people are judged by their appearance and not by their hearts...but i was wrong...if only i could have knew this long ago..."tears begin to stream down our eyes uncontrollably...
Ya Wei holds my hands together tightly in his and burrows his head on my chest.
"it's not too late,at least i know that you cared after all these things i did for you.I'm already satisfied.It's enuff..."i reply and looked at Ya Wei with the same pair of eyes in which i always use to look at him.
At this moment,i felt so tired of everything.
I wonder why did i did all those things i did for him.
I just can't get the right answer.
Feeling weaker and weaker,i closed my eyes and slowly recalls back to the past when i first met him.

.~*^*~.3ND of ChApt3R 1.~*^*~.

a story i wana tell

2006-02-14T14:52:00.000+08:00

heyys!!

its me again...hahax...

of coz its me duh~ my blog lehx... ^___^

im gona tell u guys/gals a story...

im telling u from e perspective of my friend...

its purely original...

as u all can read,my friend is very ill in e story...

whether it is true/false its for u to find out...

if u support n like this story that im telling,plz E-mail me or write in my comment box.

so that i will continue telling this story of my friend...

if not,i will juz keep this sad little story wif me n only me...

sigh*

wad a pity...^__^

anyway,if anyone saw this same story somewhere else,plz E-mail n inform me...

i'll do smth abt pple who copy my story...

i will juz tell all of u in e face now that i dun like my work to be copied n credited by someone else...

so we cleared our doubts now =]

hv a nice day~

welcome to my bloggy~~

2006-02-13T19:36:00.000+08:00

hehe..by now most pple alrd noe tt i lub 2 type in shortcuts n i lub to type in purple ^__^

well,welcome 2 my bloggy hahax...

originally i planned to only post my self-created poems n stories up on blog,but after much considerations i decided to add in some parts of my life too so as to allow u guys/gals[my bloggy readers] to understand more abt me n therfore understand wad im writing n crapping abt.

so bascially,im juz a normal average ordinary etc etc sch gal turning 16..

wow.. m i long-winded lolz...

k..enuff of my crapping...

im turning 16 this yr.

average "C" grade gal who plans to aim for 7 'A's for my "O" level...

u say its imposible?it means im-possible ...hahax...thx thx... :P

basically i lub to daydream...especially abt this guy...call "xxx" from "xxx"

erhum*...

tt's too personal for me to say hahax...or rather.. type =x

u can say tt most of e time i wasted on my on9 games...

im a 3-min hotness gal..hMz..hope i wun b 3-min for my bloggy hahax...

learned abit of piano...chess...etc??i cnt rmb actually...

mayb e rest its for u to find out..hehx...

frm my blog,my thoughts,my feelings,my stories n my poems...

kk now u cn c tt im actually quite talkative as wel..

so i'll juz stop here...Good Luck >.^

hope all of u enjoy readin my blog

Frienz of sTars

2006-02-12T15:49:00.000+08:00

everyone has a star that represent ourselve in the sky...

whenever we feel sad and lonely

our stars will look so dim

yet there will always be the brightest star beside us

accompanying us in the lonely sky

cherish this beautiful star in our hearts

as they cherish us in their souls

life and death we meet and leave

happiness and sadness they come and go

going through our lifes in stages we brighten and dim

never leaving each others side we clustered as one

shining together brighter than sun

aware of each our needs and wants

the love we share will remind us

that while you are beside us caring n sharing

we are also beside you

By:K